I Deeply value the small circle of women in my life who are my closest real friends, and I make a concerted effort to be authentic and not a fake friend to them.
Developing this amazing circle of friendships and becoming the kind of friend myself that I would like to have in others has taken a lot of time and energy.
It has taken years to realize exactly what I need in a friendship, how I want to relate to my friends, and how I want to feel when I’m around them.
In the past, I was not as mindful or intentional about my friendships. I focused more on trying to make myself fit into the friendship rather than finding friends who were a good match for me. I spent more effort than was reasonable trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. I now see more clearly how to spot a fake friend.
If you have struggled with fake friends, here are some things you need to know.
If you are highly sensitive or a people pleaser, you might be vulnerable to the kind of friend who takes advantage of you or manipulates you.
1. They tend to disappear when you need their friendship most.
2. They frequently gossip about other friends to you (so they likely gossip about you as well).
3. They try to make you feel guilty or when things don’t go their way.
4. They have a hard time being happy for your successes and achievements.
5. They are disinterested in getting to know you on a deeper level.
6. They put you down for your opinions or beliefs.
7. They judge your flaws and mistakes harshly.
8. They rarely initiate get-togethers or calls to connect.
9. They always turn the conversation back to themselfs.
10. They never stand up for you in front of others.
11. They frequently break promises or “forget” commitments.
12. They have a heightened sense of self-importance and entitlement.
13. They use back-handed compliments to confuse and wound you.
14. They hold your past mistakes over you and won’t let them go.
15. They infect you and everyone else with their bad mood or ill temper.
16. They forget the important things going on in your life.
17 They make an excuse when you need help.
18 They remember you when they need you .
19 They can easily drop you as a friend when it suits them.